Reflection

I am sitting down in an apartment that is not my own. Both of the lovely tenants have gone home for the holidays. I have been entrusted to maintain this place and its belongings for the next few days. I am not entirely sure how I got myself into this scenario, but I am incredibly thankful that I do, in fact, have a place to stay. Trusting someone comes naturally to some and I can say that I am indeed one of those people. I hope I can keep a good balance of trusting and being trustworthy for as long as I live. Integrity is often something people overlook when they consider desirable qualities in themselves or others. I think it's high time we all change that.
This will be my first Christmas in New York. I can honestly say I thought I would be going home during this time, but circumstance has mandated that I stay. I understand why. I get that being alone is something I was asking for when I moved here. It was predictable really. Nevertheless being here now has left me with an overwhelming wave of sorrow. Self-pity for not being with my family, unhappiness for not being able to give gifts to the people I love, sorrow for other people in my position and those less fortunate who celebrate a family-oriented holiday, by themselves, for years and years and years. It's the saddest thing I can think of at this moment. I'm sure I'll skype my family and make the best of my ill-timed move to this place. I'm sure that years from now, I'll be having an incredible Christmas with those I love and care for, and this year will be but a silly story I tell people when I feel like one-up-ing their "Christmas gone wrong" tales. There is no such hope for others however. For some people, what I consider depressing is just.. normal.
I am not writing this to make anyone feel bad for me. This is not a case of the "poor-me's." Please save such sympathies for those who couldn't afford gifts for their children this year. Save your Yule-Tide Spirit for the spouse who is barely getting through their first Christmas without their husband/wife due to death or sickness or war or any number of other things in this world that separate us from one another.
In all truth I have been very lucky and blessed for the past few weeks. I have no real reason to whining about anything and with that in mind I will be scouring the interwebs for volunteer opportunities. If anyone knows of something like that feel free to let me know as that would be awesome. Thanks and Merry Christmas/Chanukah/Kwanza/Whathaveyou.