The German

Well. My Christmas turned out to be pretty fantastic after all. I tried a few websites and craigslist to see if there were any real volunteer opportunities but, alas, nothing came of it. Instead I was invited to Stef's place in Yonkers to spend Christmas with her very Italian family. It was pretty incredible. I rolled two trays of meats and cheese (I didn't roll the cheese..) for the antipasti. Plus a few other trays of all kinds of appetizers. Then everyone got full and we waited a few hours before eating dinner. Seventeen people sitting around a table, most of which being family, is a great thing. There was another Christmas loner there, Eric from Germany, who I enjoyed meeting. Both of us were drawn into some serious conversations about fishing. Then we had a another regrouping before dessert. I know I am breezing by these meals but I just wanted to underline that this was the most food I've seen at a private residence. Ever. I'm only half Italian, so I really was not prepared to comprehend how incredible such an occasion can be for the food-inclined.
I want to move on to my train ride back with Eric from Germany. Him and I sparked a discussion about alcohol consumption in American and German cultures. To start with a contrast, in Germany, it is apparently not uncommon to have a drink with adults present when you are around 15 years of age. Which is something I have mixed feelings about. In the United States, those of you reading this from Russia, you have to be 21 in order to buy/publicly consume alcohol. Which happens to be another law I have mixed feelings about. For one, drinking at a young age can be a dangerous thing. However being exposed to alcohol, in an environment that is not shaming you or forbidding such an act, may in fact lighten the mood. This, in general, will diminish something I will refer to as "getting krunk." The pressure of drinking, possibly for the first time, simply doesn't exist. It's a beer. Enjoy it.
However in America, a 15 year old having a beer in such a setting might involve social services. People don't really like that and for good reason. So, for the most part, we forbid our youth to go near alcohol. We drill it into their heads that they will be in huge trouble if they drink underage. All the while throwing them the car keys and saying, "Have fun with this two ton, extremely dangerous machine." You see where I'm going with this, don't you readers? When these kids turn 18, they already have a few years driving under their belt and it would be safe to assume some confidence on the road as well. Then these 18 year-olds go to college. Where they WILL drink, no matter how many douchy anti-DUI commercials the Police Department puts out. It's going to happen. And since these young adults cannot go to a bar near campus, nor can they, god-forbid, stay on campus itself for such endeavors; they are forced to the horrifying private residence of, most often, a total stranger. Once in this poorly decorated apartment the "forbidden" aspect is abrasively broken and years and years of beer and liquor advertising take their effect. The atmosphere at this location is "Drink! Drink! Drink!" You see where this leads. One asshole hands this 18 year old an large bottle of something terrible and this young person is strongly encouraged to down it.
Back in Europe, at the bar intentionally built in the middle of the student union, with the most amount of traffic, the same 18 year old has been cut off by the bartender. Seeing as how this student can walk to his/her dorm from there will probably take precedence over driving to continue the party elsewhere. Hopefully. The point is the option is there.
Eric and I shared this view on drinking and to be in such agreement from one culture to another is a great feeling. There were things conversation we didn't agree on, naturally, like how there really is no amount education or preparation a young adult can have before deciding to give themselves alcohol poisoning. Some people just make bad decisions. I'm not sure if I totally agree with that, but I cannot deny that it certainly happens. At a party at college I saw an ambulance take an 18 year-old girl out of the apartment below ours. The story was she had drank a handle of vodka and showed up to this party, being carried, and was unconscious for her entire stay. Which was about 2-3 hours. This was shocking to me. For 2-3 hours people at that party stepped over her, saw her on the couch "sleeping," probably did that stupid thing where you draw on people with a sharpie or something equally as lame, never checking to see if she was breathing. No one even realized she was slowly dying. That wouldn't have happened if she had been in a bar. End of story. I felt terrible knowing that there was someone just one floor down from me who might have lived if someone had just payed attention. But in this environment, everyone is drunk, for the most part, and thus is went unnoticed. She passed away in the hospital that night from alcohol poisoning.
I realize there are so many factors into people going out and drinking, and I am aware that changing a few laws wouldn't really help. It is the actual difference in culture from one country to another that makes the biggest difference. It simply comes down to the US is not Europe. Not that I am complaining, I love this country, and although I have never visited every country in Europe, I will probably still like the US the most. It's just that this place can be really frustrating at times.

Reflection

I am sitting down in an apartment that is not my own. Both of the lovely tenants have gone home for the holidays. I have been entrusted to maintain this place and its belongings for the next few days. I am not entirely sure how I got myself into this scenario, but I am incredibly thankful that I do, in fact, have a place to stay. Trusting someone comes naturally to some and I can say that I am indeed one of those people. I hope I can keep a good balance of trusting and being trustworthy for as long as I live. Integrity is often something people overlook when they consider desirable qualities in themselves or others. I think it's high time we all change that.
This will be my first Christmas in New York. I can honestly say I thought I would be going home during this time, but circumstance has mandated that I stay. I understand why. I get that being alone is something I was asking for when I moved here. It was predictable really. Nevertheless being here now has left me with an overwhelming wave of sorrow. Self-pity for not being with my family, unhappiness for not being able to give gifts to the people I love, sorrow for other people in my position and those less fortunate who celebrate a family-oriented holiday, by themselves, for years and years and years. It's the saddest thing I can think of at this moment. I'm sure I'll skype my family and make the best of my ill-timed move to this place. I'm sure that years from now, I'll be having an incredible Christmas with those I love and care for, and this year will be but a silly story I tell people when I feel like one-up-ing their "Christmas gone wrong" tales. There is no such hope for others however. For some people, what I consider depressing is just.. normal.
I am not writing this to make anyone feel bad for me. This is not a case of the "poor-me's." Please save such sympathies for those who couldn't afford gifts for their children this year. Save your Yule-Tide Spirit for the spouse who is barely getting through their first Christmas without their husband/wife due to death or sickness or war or any number of other things in this world that separate us from one another.
In all truth I have been very lucky and blessed for the past few weeks. I have no real reason to whining about anything and with that in mind I will be scouring the interwebs for volunteer opportunities. If anyone knows of something like that feel free to let me know as that would be awesome. Thanks and Merry Christmas/Chanukah/Kwanza/Whathaveyou.